You guys!! This week I passed my very first licensing exam of three exams that I need to pass to become autonomous as a Clinical Psychologist. I am SO overjoyed. This exam literally sucked everything from me emotionally, not to mention the ~150 hours I spent studying for the exam.
The exam is called the Examination for Professional Practice in Psychology, and basically any clinical psychologist in North America has to write this exam. There is no “grade” that you makes you a better psychologist per se, but there is a cut off score which is 500.
Why am i telling you about the cut off score?
DEEP BREATH. DEEP BREATH. DEEP BREATH.
This has taken me so much courage and my heart is racing as I type these words out.
I failed the exam by ONE question on December 4, 2019.
Yes.. thats right. I wrote the exam the second time and passed. But the first time… I failed.
DEEP BREATH. DEEP BREATH. DEEP BREATH.
Why am i telling you this now? I passed anyway so why share this with you? I asked myself that question SO many times this week. I have sat on this for weeks now, and not shared this with more than 5 people who are in my inner circle, because… its scary to share our failures with anyone let alone thousands of people.
So here is why I am sharing this with you.
I often get messages/comments in my inbox related to how I am doing it all, how I am a super woman by managing work, school, motherhood, being a wife, being a _____ [insert your role of choice], and while most of the time I politely say ” you are too kind” – this time, i actually, tangibly FAILED to balance it all. I had NOT been able to manage it all as many of you think I do.
And you know what?
That is OKAY – because I am only as human as you or the next person.
And just like you, sometimes (well most of the time), life doesn’t go as planned and keeping all the ball’s in the air is simply NOT POSSIBLE. This failure is exactly that. I wasn’t able to handle it all, and that only makes me MORE HUMAN. This failure almost 2 months ago, made me re-consider exactly what and why I was doing what I was doing. It made me doubt every ounce of my being, my career, my professional capacity, and so much more.
And over and over again, as I talked to my closest friends they reassured me of the same thing: You are NOT less because of ONE failure.
I am sharing this with you today because I want to stress and emphasize the following: IT IS OKAY TO FAIL. It is okay to not succeed at everything and drop a ball. It is impossible and out of this world to be able to “handle it all”. I’ve said this before and I will say it again – BALANCE is a big fat lie. There is no such thing. Case and point. You have to choose to expend your energies into things consciously, and then maybe there is harmony in your world for that given moment… but to have it at all at exactly that moment is a fallacy. In my humble experience – it doesn’t exist and I am not interested in pursuing that.
I am not interested in looking perfect. My life, my instagram feed, this blog, my relationships, my career – it is all far from PERFECT. And perfect doesn’t appeal to me because… ITS NOT REAL.
So heres the take home message. I passed the second time around by a massive margin from the cut off. Regardless, I am no less of a professional/psychologist/mental health professional than someone who passed the first time. I may even argue that I know more because I spent so many more hours studying LOL just kidding. But really, I share this to remind you that failure is a part of life, and how we view that failure and regroup after is what we control.
Just what i needed to read this week! Thank you for sharing something so personal & congratulations on passing the exam ????
aww thank you <3 happy to be part of your friday morning routine <3
Aww Areeba! Thank you for sharing this because it truly is so hard… What year 1, 000% right about not letting one failure define you. thank you for the reminder! massive congratulations on this next step for you!!????
thank you love <3 and yes, its simply that - ONE failure.
Kudos to you for sharing this! It is indeed nerve wrecking to appear in board exams. Congratulations you did it !!!!
thank you!!
I always say this and I’ll say it again, thank you!! I just love how you are so real and relatable. We often just get the “perfect” versions of those on social media and it gets hard to relate. Failures not only help you get stronger, but those around you as well. We learn and grow, if we didn’t fail then what would we be learning in life? There would literally be no valuable lessons to grow from! Thanks again, lots of love-you’re doing great!!
if you can count on this girl for anything – its about keeping it as real as it is. I value that in myself as a person, and also as a professional that I am not perfect. thanks for following along!
They say as long as the end result satisfies you, there is no such thing as failure. I have had many failures in life too but now when I look back I know I needed those failures in life to understand then importance of pure joy that comes after the success followed by a failure. It makes you stronger, it makes you learn more about balancing, it makes you more of you you are today. All the best for your career and proud of you for being so honest.
so so agree – obviously in the moment, I did not feel this way. but looking back, i am so very grateful for the pass now and also the failure because i learned something valuable about myself: that i can fail, and try again. that I am indeed strong enough to do that.
We are so proud of you, Areeba! You have no idea. So much love ..and so many du’as ❤️
You are so kind. thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment <3
OMG i got goose bumps reading it.. but you r a brave girl..i even couldnt pass one of my medical licensing exam here in canada 1st tym.i was so distressed cuz i have nver failed in studies in my life but Allhamdulilah i have cleared all now. Its life and these things happened.. duas for your next exams
thank you! <3
Hello!! It was super brave of you to share this!! I hope and pray that you pass the other parts of the exam!! Lots of love and prayers your way!! It is never easy to share the tiny hiccups that come in our life and thanks for doing this! Makes us all look back at our selves and realise we too are human and it’s ok To not be perfect all the time!! The important thing is you got up and gave it another shot!! Best of luck always ❤️
you are too kind Amna. I appreciate you taking the time to read <3
Thank you for sharing it but i didn’t get email this time bl.im happy i follow your stories.
This blog give such a big courage and it give words to emotions
thanks! also check your spam! let me know if its in there 🙂
Such a great post and congratulations Areeba!
thank you!
This was so good to read. Extremely proud of you for representing brown muslimahs out there! Thanks Areeba for being YOU ❤️